There is always

There is always

A little truth behind every "just kidding"

A little knowledge behind every "I don't know"

A little worry behind every "I don't care"

And a little pain behind every "It's okay"


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I wish I could write down all my favourite excerpts from this book
but then it'll probably be too long for anyone to even feel like reading them
So I'm choosing the one that I am guilty of the most and share it

For your reading pleasure..

A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.

"Mom, guess what?" she squealed, waving the drawing.

Her mother never looked up.

"What?" she said, tending to the pots.

"Guess what?" the child repeated, waving the drawing.

"What?" the mother said, tending to the plates.

"Mom, you're not listening."

"Sweetie, yes I am."

"Mom," the child said, "you're not listening with your eyes."

Now start wallowing in guilt and shame all of you! I know i did...

Went to watch this today @ vivo before NJD training...



Incite Mill...
Some psychological killer/suspense/mystery movie that the Nihon-jin always love to make.
Not too bad.. plot was so so and predictable though the mysteries weren't..
But overall it was entertaining enough for a weekend movie getaway..

After that zoomed down together to Ayer Rajar CC with YY and ZR for training.
2nd time at a Sunday class. The first time I went, the only black belt was JM. So i guess it felt like a normal thursday class to me back then. But today when there were so many other black belts present, it definately felt different.. hmmm.. how do I put it.. the blacks were as noisy as always, LOL! But training was more.. focused? Or I should say I spent more time actually training than waiting for someone else to finish their kick or be corrected..
Ended training with very weak knees coz of all the Yoyatsu-s I did..

Went out after training to meet YY's cousin.. then we all went for dinner at west coast..
The scenery crazy girl then wanted to go chill again.. so yeah.. ended up initially @ jurong hill.. but apparantly it wasn't enough to satisfy her insantiable appetite for high places, so we zoomed off again and ended up @ Mt faber!!!

Hmm.. everyone's getting busy..
Let's hope things will start picking up faster for me too..


Some other things that I wish to post and talk about..
But atlas... blog censorship has to be imposed.. too many eyes watching this space...
So yea.. I'll stop here ^.^
Should be enough to satisfy the appetitites of all you readers out there =b

There it is! It is confirmed!
My throat is now officially gone!
Woke up wincing from the pain after coughing abruptly in my sleep
It hurts like crazy now whenever I swallow or talk..
Like a sharp knife being put through it each time..
Guess it's my fault for not taking care of it properly ever since my fever started..
From this moment forth, no more fries, no more fried stuff, no more heaty food, no more going to sleep beyond, erms.. 5am? and more WATER.. like MORE more.. until I recover!


In other news..
My sleeping timings are getting more irregular than abnormal..
That probably attributed to me falling sick too..

Fundings are in the final stages of being approved, though the requested changes to the proposal were rather major..

Bro's bike broke down again -.-"

NJD chalet's over.. rather disappointed with certain things that caused me to miss the Official Launch of CAC Alumni, but I guess it's understandable why they did that.. no more organising for a while though..

My neighbour's dog, whom we once helped take care of for a few days while they went on holiday, passed on a few days back...
It always hurts me to see pets die.. feels to me like you lose a part of your live forever...
I'm never gonna hear his playful barks whenever we walk home from the lift anymore..
Just like how I'm probably never gonna hear your voice in my life anymore..
I'll probably never ever understand fully why you you had to do all those things..
The one action that ignited all these unhappiness and disagreements that lead to this painchilling stalemate...
And yes, you're right when you said you are qian bian..
To leave such a deep imprint in my life..
And then disappear so suddenly and completely leaving nothing but photos and memories..
Smiling doesn't mean that I've forgotten
Laughing doesn't mean that I'm happy
They just serve to hide whatever void that's left behind
Plagiarised, improved and returned..


Alrights, I'm gonna stop here because I don't wanna start getting emo so early in the day
(only figuratively, because it's actually already 3:30pm right now)


그댈 보면 얼굴이 빨개지고
그댈 보면 가슴이 두근두근
아이처럼 수줍게 말하고

Her lips, her lips, i could kiss them all day if sh'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh, she hates it but it drives me crazy
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while

I missed the way i used to write >.<

Ripped off from the blog of a friend.
Found them seriously funny to the bone..
For anyone who had a bad day and looking for a smile or two..
Enjoy ^.^


25 Phrases Of Wisdom

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
Age is a high price for maturity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you have never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government programme.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.



THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES


Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba diving.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

I seriously LOL-ed @
"A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds."

I don't know..
Sometimes I just feel that words mean so much more when they are sung..
Like how sails are to the wind
And how a car is to an engine
Maybe that's why I write songs
To give meaning to what I want to say
Because words simply ain't enough

Maybe it could have been better
Maybe I could have been better
Doesn't really matter now..

Aunt's coming back from the US tmr..
To stay with grandma coz of her condition..
Still contemplating whether to go to the airport in the morning coz dad asked..
So worried that he'll end up in Terminal 1 instead of 3 -.-"

And this music player's seriously troublesome..
Coz i still have to upload the stupid vid onto youtube >.<
As always, pardon the singing

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The last gift from me to you..
Come to think of it, it's the first time i'm writing a song to someone..
Just so you know, I hate the way things are now
But then again, I believe you already know

INFALLIBLY

You said you weren’t ready
Your heart still wanderin’ blindly
The times I made you cry alone silently
Filled you with grief

You said, one day maybe
That if we were meant to be
Fate would surely see
That we would be what we used to be
She’ll hear your pleas

Oh baby, baby, baby
The things you did especially for me I know
I drive you crazy crazy crazy
My lazy dazey ways you had to put up with while you’re with me
I’m sorry, my baby for tearing up your dreams
I failed you miserably
I wasn’t there you see
When you needed me to be, infallibly

The times that I did poorly
Stopped you from ever sleeping soundly
You’re trying hard to hold the tears that flow endlessly,
As you think of me

Let me be, you shouted feebly
Through the phone, as you hung up on me
You lost the will to make me see
As you made me believe, my baby
You had given up on me

I wished that we were crazy
Mad enough to be so unfazed my baby
I had wanted us to be
So much more than that which we used to be
Infallibly

Meow, woof, croak!

Ok. I am guessing that the influx of animal sounds on the tagboard is an indication that this place needs a little bit of activity.

*Sidenote: I seriously think this is the best K-On song yet! *

Back to other stuff.. Today was wierd, frustrating, pissy, exhausting, fun, entertaining and indifferent all in one.. A melange of emotions in one whole package.. freaking phone stalker!

NJD kinda made my day hanging out with the bunch of peeps. training was interesting and painful as usual.. had some Hari Raya Special Package for warm up today -.-" Aching all over now.. and of course there was the usual crapping dinner after training..

Finally started working on the flash codings..Made some headway these few days, but then I soon got stuck again. bahhh! That's always the problem with learning something from scratch yourself.. Just like I did with the guitar..
Hopefully i'll be able to churn out the needed stuff in time for the proposal presentation next week bah..

I know I promised pictures.. but i'm really in no mood for uploading.. hahaha!
Missed soccer last week because of some work I had to finish, and I was too tired after finishing that I fell asleep straight away! Wanted so badly to go. hais..
Tennis next week with Junming.. havent played in a looooooooooooooooooooong time.. I'll probably get trashed by a 14 year old. LMAO!

Okays.. that's enough for today i guess.. maybe on another day when I am feeling more wordy ^.^

Best Week EVER!!!

Okay.. this week was nothing but fun, fun, fun, fun, fun and MORE FUN!!!!
I had 2 steamboats and 1 lunch cook off!!!! Frikkin fattening manz...
In contrast, next week's gonna be exercise week!!!
Finally playing soccer again on friday with the 21SA guys!!

Just came back from sending Yuann Shan off from the airport with the Cyrus people..
Had a steamboat dinner at her house before going over to the airport tgt with her family..
You seriously CANNOT STOP laughing with this bunch of people..
My stomach muscles have been hurting ever since the njd training on thurs, and I think that because of these 2 days with the cyrus madmen, my muscles cannot recover properly and in time for the next training. In fact, I think the aching got WORSE!!! ROAR!!!
But it was fun!!! hahahaha!!!
I guess there isn't just one way to be happy..

Gotta start on work already.. Lotsa stuff piled up over the weekends.. fighting!!!

Photos coming up soon!!!! ^.^


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's been 2 months.. and it still hurts sometimes..

Okay, shall do a little cleaning up here by clearing the dust and posting a little update about the past few weeks since the start of August...

Had wanted to post pictures initially, but halfway through sorting them out, i realised there were just too many of these past 3 weeks to squeeze into 1 post so I shall post them another time.. maybe =b

Somehow it feels like I have flipped to a brand new chapter of my life starting the 1st of this month, kinda made official after returning from the short holiday to Batam with a bunch of friends I've made in the GD course.. something like a graduation trip now that the course is officially over..

My thoughts on the course? If you ask me, it feels like whatever knowledge I've picked up.. the technical skills, the tools, the internship experience, the opportunities.. they don't count for much when compared to this bunch of crazy-assed, like minded friends that I've got to know in this one year.
And it's ultimately these bonds i formed with them, that I feel are the greatest, and dare i say it, only assests I've truly gained in this year. I sure am gonna miss the times I've spent with them. The late nights, AND the early mornings in the shitcold-crazy lab. The painful (for our wallets.. or mine at least.. haha!) trips to nihon mura. The DOTA matches. The pantry lunches. The complain sessions about bosses, horrible english speaking teachers, lame jokes and so much more. Thanks for everything that you guys have shared with and given me although many of you probably won't read this ^.^

Next up, after coming back from the holiday, was to WORRY (what's new) about what's going to be. Job offers coming in, didn't tempt me enough. They weren't.. how should i put it, what I wanted to do? I mean, if I were to take those offers up, I might as well have stuck with an engineering job back then rights? After all, wasn't that the reason why I dumped my degree to go into another field in the first place? To do something i actually want to do.
So yea, decided to try for the startup with JY. Risky, yes.. but what is the point in living a life doing something you can't find a meaning in? After all, I'm still YOUNG rights??? Relatively at least ^.^
I figured I probably shouldn't start thinking about pursuing crazy stuff like this only after slogging half my life away in a small cubicle in a corner of some cramped up office doing some simple unimpactful and unimportant programming codes rights?

The other thing that had been plentiful and bountiful for these past weeks, were birthdays!!!! OMG there are like so many!! Didn't even know I had that many 89 friends!!! But it was fun catching up and mixing around with people again. Made a few new friends here and there, caught up with some others. Saw faces I haven't seen in a loooooong time.

The next buncha people I've been seeing really often are the people from ninjado!!!! Another bunch of fun and interesting people to be with. Kinda like a miniature family by itself the way everyone compliments each other. I guess it's always fun to meet new people.. To learn about them. To learn from them. People from all walks of life. And i'm still learning new things by the day! Like Alice's extreme fear for cockroaches! Didn't tell her that she kinda have the same fear as me though =b
Of course the training's a whole thing altogether. The warm ups are still painful like crazy though I'm slooooowly getting used to it. Push-ups with my kunckles are still... something else... something... I have to work on more? lol!
Anyone knows how to magically grow more meat on your knuckles? >.<
Seeing everyone getting their new belts makes me feel happy for them. After all they have been working hard for it.. Kinda can't wait for my grading in FOUR LOOOOOOOONG months time.. oh mannn, I'm gonna be a white belt for 5 months! Roar!

The family's much closer now.. though it still feels britle. like temporary? But I guess spending time DOES make a difference. Guilty as charged..
Zoomed down to cine with the crazy brother at 4am to watch airbender 2 weeks back. Something I probably wouldn't have done in the past.
I knew that he would watch movies alone from time to time, but I never bothered offering to watch with him even though I would still be awake at those crazy timings in the morning. Until now..
I guess Starcraft 2 did help a little too. After all it was somthing that we did together..

Well, all I can say is that sometimes, things happen for a reason. And more often than not, you do not see the reasons until much later.. I guess if my life had been what it was a few months back, I probably would not have been able to have found the time to do all the above mentioned things. Not that my life back then wasn't good, or that I wasn't happy, but i guess there should always be a balance? And my life back then definately wasn't balanced. So yea, I like the way things are right now i guess? And I like that we are talking and going out every once in a while again =)

Alrights.. Until the next update! (Hopefully with pictures from Batam, the parties and the gatherings!)
And hopefully the talks go well tmr.
And i can't wait for k-box in the evening with Miss Kee, Miss Yam and Mr Wong.
And the steamboat at my place on wednesday with the IDGT peeps!
And ninja-do training on thursday.
And the cook off on saturday with Cyrus!!!
WTHS! I didn't know i was this packed for the week!
BZBZBZ!!!

Please let me fall asleep! =(

I think I've finally forgotten...























What being happy truely feels like...

The Easy Way Out

It probably would have been easier for me to delete or lock it all up and forget everything..
After all, what was it that they always say? Out of sight, out of mind..
But I chose not to..
Probably because I know I won't ever be able to forget you..
I rather bear the heartbreak of knowing we won't be making anymore memories together..
Than feel the pain of forgetting the old ones we share forever..

Looking through old photos bring back so many memories..
How both of us changed.. back from when we first met and started off..

Our first attempt at art



My first jealous moment =(


When you first found out I bite

When you first found out I always take photos the same way

First Homecooked Christmas Meal

First Bangs-ed Experience

First Unforgettable Valentine

First Princess at Princess Wishes

First Birthday

First attempt at Hello Kitty Bento for you

First time eating a milo egg mayo sandwich

My biggest regret? That I left Mr Polarbear out there that night..

Lyrics to a song I wrote quite some time ago..

One I never quite had the time to finish..

And now I've forgotten how the tune goes like..
Another regret of mine..

I saw you smiling one day
I think that I fell in love
With your gleaming eyes
Your pleasant smile
And teeth that weren’t up or down
I wished you’ll never
Ever leave my sight that day
And wish that you’ll forever
Be smiling in that way

Please say that baby you would be with me tonight
Even if it were for one last time
And something hit me that night
Right in my heart I cried
Loving you would be alright
Your heart will be
Next to mine

The times I find us talking
All time seems to slip away
It doesn’t matter where or when
As long as you’re here to stay
I wished you’ll never
Ever leave my side always
And hope that you’ll forever
Be with me though the days

Sucks that we ain't even talking now..
All I can do is hope, hope that one day..
It would still be possible..
To walk down town with you..

Maybe not with your hands in mine..
But at least with you smiling by my side..

Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts

3407

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie


It's the reason why we put up with all the shit we put up with..
Even when it hurts..
The reason we hold back our tears each time it touches our eyes..
And tell ourselves that it's alright..
The reason we force ourselves to let you go..
And watch you walk away from our lives..

It hurts, because we know that we have to let you go..
It's alright because we like the way it hurts..
Because I know, that I.... you...


The 3 Days and 90 bucks

38.1 degree, nose full of mucus, hoarse as a horse
= $62 midnight consultation session, $28 worth of meds and 3 days MC
= skipping ICT totally this year..

Least I can be at home in case anything happens..

Back to the lab tmr to finish up the project..
Hopefully the fever goes down by then..
Especially after sleeping from 9am to 5pm today..

Ready to be soldiers! Fight for our landdddd!

The Marathon

I know I have been complaining. but suddenly I was watching 2 movies in 2 days!
The Sorcerer's Apprentice was stunning. With the special effects and the Kristen Stewart look-a-like...
Inception was even better!!! After "Catch me if you can".. this was probably the next best movie our dear "Leo" shone in.. Simply marvelous..

CHIONG ARHSSSS!!!

The horror starts tomorrow! Will be gone for the week on a holiday to "paradise" -.-"
Doesnt help that there are so many things that are bothering me right now, simply piling up onto the amount of emo-ness i am already feeling..

The Cold War

As if parodying my already depressing situation, this satirical re-enactment of behavior is chillingly similar. For 2 days now, they haven't said a word to each other.. And what's worse is that they don't seem to be eating too.. Why THE FUCK do I have to go for my reservist AT THIS POINT IN TIME!!!! ARGHHH!!!! How am I supposed to go in without worrying my ass off at what might happen??? DAMN I HATE IT WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPENS! It was like this last year! Now this year too??

The Accident

Brother got into another biking accident. His whole left arm is full of dried scabs now... How many accidents does he need to get into before he sees how worried everyone is for him?
I literally can't sleep whenever he doesnt get home early.. hais..

Where Is The Love

Everyone that I've come to love and care about more than anything in my life, is threatening to leave my life right now..
First my brother.. then Miss Neo.. and now finally my parents..
I feel like I'm gonna lose it very soon..
As much as I try to show that I'm fine..
As much as I try to talk to each of them individually and try to hold them together..
But I can feel it eating away at me, every night that I fall asleep..
Every morning I wake up..
Or every time I come home..
I'm afraid..
Afraid of finding nobody at home..
Afraid of losing another crucial part of me..
I can't.. I can't bear another lost like that right now..

Strangers

I know we are supposed to be apart. But to be this determined..
I thought you would understand how it feels when things like this happen..
And we contiune to live our lives in ignorance, as if wanting to forget what ever happened in the past 2 years..
It still hurts so much..
That we can't talk like we used to anymore..

Growing Up

When I was young, things used to be so much more less complicated..
Everyday was just to play, eat, play and sleep..
You take the love people shower on you for granted..
Innocently believing that that love, will be there for you forever..
But as you grow up, you start to see the reality of the world, of people..
You start to realise how real the things you see on television can be..
How they can actually happen to you in real life..
How you can lose them so easily..
An accident, a misunderstanding, a crazy night out, a moment of lost in concentration, a slight drizzle, a misplaced word, a moment of anger..
And when placed suddenly in the middle of it all, you find yourself overwhelmed by everything all of a sudden..
Your view of peace gets abruptly shaken up..
And you find yourself unable to deal with it..
And it's times like these, you wish that you could just go back to being a young boy again..
I guess you ARE right.. ignorance IS bliss..

Tongue tied

There're so many things I want to say..
But when the time comes to say them..
The words just wouldn't come out right..
Even if I had went through them time and time again beforehand in my mind..

I just wished that we would be able to talk like we used to..
The name callings and the dumb comments..
Not with this self made barrier in between..

At least the weekdays have started!
Which means more work and less free time..
For once in my life, I'm hoping Monday comes earlier..

Life just sucks so much atm..

Oh did I mention? I just got stalked by a group of banglahs when I went downstairs to jog earlier, and then a second time when I went to buy supper.. by the SAME group! It got so bad and worrisome I had to get my dad and my bro down at 4am to confront them because they were following me all over and I did not want them to know where I lived !#$%^%&*
I hate this place with all the workers so nearby.. They loiter around the void decks all night.. ugghhh!! FML

The Morning After

Superstarrrr

Stella's 21st at SIA sports club in Changi.. Finally got to spend some time with the Cyrus peeps after such a long absence. Still a bunch of fun people to hang around with though, even if there were only the 5 of us around..

Went to Iguana's at Clark Quay to have a drink with a few other random friends of Stella's after that..This is like the 2nd day in a row that I've reached home only in the wee hours of the morning! Guess I really needed to keep myself busy and not alone..

Random shots!

Light Headed

Why I hate reservist!

Because of the amount of hair I have to remove from my head before I go in each time!

Just one of the many MILLIONS of reasons why...

What's Next?

Choice 1. I guess GQ's out for me. Not with such lousy management and a messed up company structure..

Choice 2. Mikoishi's still pending. They seriously should speed up their decision making process before I go back to camp!

Choice 3. Being an instructor's seriously not my thing! And it's not what I really want to do for a job anyways. And there's also again the problem with horrendous company structure and management.

Choice 4. Otherwise, I guess setting up the LLP should be the most viable option..

Hopefully things can get settled with our project really soon and we can get that over and done with. That way, we can start focusing on the plans for the setting up of the company.

Anyone with a minor in entre? I need your notes BADLY!!

I'm also accepting any form of donations to help fund my startup capital! ^.^

The One Night Stand

You shared my bed with me..

We could have had something my dear.

That was until you decided to take a dump on my blanket in the wee hours of the morning!

I had to throw away a perfectly fine quilt cover because of you alrights!

She was really adorable though..

Gentle and demure..

A real lady..

Too bad nobody's home these days to take care of her..

Well, if fate wills it, we'll meet again -.-


Of severed limbs and broken heads

Took a break this week to play badminton in our beloved SRC during one of the lunch breaks we had..

There was more than grime and sweat..

It was armageddon! A massacre!

Heads were torn off!

Limbs were contorted into impossible angles..

Warning! The following picture might not be suitable for the young or weak of heart..

Ninja-do!!!

Probably the best part of my week!

Thanks to ZR, blending in wasn't a problem..

But I really feel damn old in there! Fuxk!

Oh, and the warm up!!!!!!

Seriously.. By the end of the warm up session, I felt like i just finished taking my 2.4!

We literally had to do things like...

THIS!

And THIS!

In contrast, the actual training was much more relaxing..

I guess my muscles really aren't used to that amount of flexibility just yet..

Everyone there's like.. boneless or something!

I seriously half expected someone to start walking up walls or jump down 4 storeys to the first floor in the middle of training or something.. LOL!

But it's good to be learning something fresh for once..

Plus all the people there are really nice and friendly!

Well, almost all at least...

Waka Waka!!

Soccer fever's not over!

Went to FICO on friday for a game with some old friends..

I realised that I played shitloads of sports this week!

Must be the YOG fever or something..

No wonder my limbs no longer feel like my limbs at this point in time >.<

But i guess it's good for...

[] []

[] []

[] []

And to take my mind off some other unpleasant stuff...

Now I cant walk down a flight of stairs, sneeze or do an E-break on my car without first sending a bolt of pain through my body! =(

Maybe I'm Tryin'.. Trying' Too Hard...

I'm done doing things that make me feel stupid..

Or doing things that would ultimately be unappreciated or worse, unwelcomed..

Things like spending months of saving up, hours and hours of preparation, driving about, getting all the stuff from all over singapore, buying the special gift, preparing the event, thinking of the perfect way to give it..

Only to be met with indifference and rejection in the end.. why?

Because you were too late mannn.. People already bathed and they don't wanna leave their house to come downstairs for 10 minutes to see what you have slogged and sweated for hours to prepare for them..

Who are you man? So what if you have something special to give? So what if you have been here preparing for hours? Like I care. I smell good and I don't feel like going downstairs for your SURPRISE!!!! Chea..

To think I even bothered dressing up and all -.-"

Pabo!!!

I tried, but it was met with indifference..

Like it didn't even mattered..

And I really really wanted to call today..

Like in the middle of all the party and all..

But I was worried I would just be doing something unwarrented again..

If you really do care.. then please try to fix it..

Because I'm just done trying, only to be kept out over and over again..

Even if the heart is still willing, the mind isn't..

Otherwise, what's left to do..

Is just to let time wash away the memories.. and forget..

Forgotten

I'm glad you're having fun...

Oww.. Oww.. Owwww

Today was damn painful!
And I will probably continue to be in pain for the next few days..
*groans*
But it sure was fun!
Can't wait for the next time..


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I'm convinced..

Meowww

I brought her home and my dad went.. "Is that your new girlfriend?"

LMAO!!!

Sometimes I forget how crappy my parents can be.. LOL!!!

Was at a bbq earlier with some of the guys from the Korea trip..
One of the tour mates invited us our to have a bbq at her place..
Coincidentally enough, she's currently teaching as a relief teacher at my secondary school! lolx..

Anyways, the interesting thing about this BBQ is it's food!!!
You know how the usual BBQ has crabsticks, hotdogs, sausages and all the other cheaper NTUC off-the-shelf stuff?
The one I went to, has prawns larger than my palm!!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY~!!! It's the first time I've seen such HUGE prawns pls. I mean it's like I can easily stick 4 fingers into the prawn's head la!!!

Shall let you look at the photos and see for yourself.. notice the size of my brother's palm. It's about the same size at the prawn. And the prawn is still further away from the camera..

Now compare it with the regular plastic fork and the plastic plate!!!

It's crazy!!! It's the size of a paper plate lah! The amount of cholesterol in that must be like equivalent to 10 packet of fries or something..

We also had all kinds of exotic food..
Like shitake mushrooms, beef kebab...

a CRAZY amount of crabs!!!!

This picture shows only like 10% of the crabs we had! wtf!
And there was like fish!!! Like the first time i see fish at a bbq lah! And it was like a whole SCHOOL of fishes! like at least 20 fishes in that tray. The photo was a little blur so I didn't bother uploading.. but you guys get the idea la..

Naturally, we did not manage to finish everything.. But the food was GOOD...
There goes my weak resolve.. dammit!

[] []
[] []
[] []

Drip Drip Drip

The nose is killing me!
Think the whole night in the AC murdered it..
Gonna have blisters on my nose soon !@#$%^&*

First game demo finally rushed out in the dead of the night yesterday..
Somehow we made it... phew*
Still lacking in many ways, but at least we had a substantial amount of progress yesterday night.. After all, we did work till past 6am in the morning..
I think the lack of sleep also contributed to my current rudolph predicament..

Sucks when some employers try to work your ass off and squeeze every single drop out of you and then fail to deliver what they promised you earlier..
Think my life just got fucked..


Tempting it is..
but No No No..
Till the 17th I shall persist..

Hopelessness

The moment I heard that she was home, I somehow knew
That it had started

I wanted.. wanted so badly at that moment to step in and give her a hug
To lighten the suffering she was in
To take away any pain she had
Because I knew how bad it was when it starts
Especially for her
But I held myself back
Because I think it would add on rather than take away
And it hurts like hell
Knowing that

And of course, the last thing I wanted was to pass her my fever too



Sidenote...

Spain better win tonight! Or I'll have tako sashimi for revenge real soon!!!!!
If they do win.. I'll have celebratory tako sashimi too!!!!!
So either way, you lose!!! heh heh..
Your fault for being so delectably delicious =b

37.8 degrees after that erm.. evening nap?
Suddenly reminded of century egg porridge from Crystal Jade
Get well soon Justus...

Dumb Dumb

*Smack head*
I just knew!!!
I just knew that some unexpected event would happen today. That would make me look like i did something stupid -.-"
I think I got cursed after I came back from Korea or something -.-"

Of all the days
It has to start today
And you had to stay home today

I should have done it earlier
Or fallen sick earlier!

Stupid stupid stupid!!!

38.1 degrees..

I'm sorry I just couldn't resist

Ok, I toned down this post because I think I was probably just over-reacting earlier.. But I was truly irritated just now..
Anyways, It's highly possible that I'm probably just being pissed or irritated over nothing here.. but I just needed an outlet..

*edited*

I was SOOOOOO determined today not to do anything that might sway or influence her final decision. Not to comment or not to give a reply of any FORM at ALL because i'm thinking that probably also counts as some form of contact? No contact means no contact AT ALL! Because I'm dead serious this time!
And I had almost.. ALMOST suceeded.. until I saw the comment -.-"

Anyways.. this post feels more like a rant or a whine anyways, so i'm not counting it as a reply of any sorts, and thus it doesn't count as having contact.


Okay yeah, back to the complaining!!!
Some people should seriously learn to think before they speak or comment in this case!!!
I was truly irritated by the comment, given that the person who posted it doesn't even know me personally or I can even safely say know much about the r/s. And I've only heard her name being mentioned once before..

I mean it's ok if they give general comments like "Cheer up!!"
Or "Hang in there k! *hugs!* "
Or.. you get the idea la..
But to actually make a statement that might ultimately change a decision? I think it's just crossing the line.. And on a public wall at that.. it's just too much..
And AGAIN, she doesn't even know ME!!!! Or know about the details of the r/s!!! Heck I don't even think she is close to the original owner of the wall..
How could she make such a decisive statement so easily!!! How irresponsible is that? Some people just don't understand that whatever they say have consequences..


If it wasn't for the fact that the owner of the wall actually mean so much to me, and I had a promise to keep. I probably would have done something mean right there and then..

Ok fines maybe I wont.. i'm too much of a libra(-ian?) to initiate confrontations..
But i really WAS pissed off.. coz the comment had this negative connotation that came with it, like it made me out to be the offender of a case of domestic violence or that I treated her really horribly or whatsnot.. it's insulting actually.. even if the original intentions of the post were good..

Hais.. I guess it's good that I think I know her well enough?
Sufficient to know she is sensible enough not to be affected by these general comments.. Or rather, i should say she makes her own decisions?
And also because i guess, it probably couldn't get any worse? ( I hope I'm wrong here though *prays hard* >.< )

Seriously lah.. MEH!!!

I'm surprised at why would this person even KNOW anything about this decision in the first place? Did she tell the whole office or something?!?!? -.-"

~Sigh~


Maybe I should just stay off FB or MSN for the moment..
Or i might just go crazy..
It's KILLING me!!!

Anyways, I think having only 1 solid meal a day as an indirect result of my unearthly sleeping hours is starting to take it's toll on my stomach..
And the lack of sleep is causing my temperature to go uppppppp!!! >.<

Hope the fever don't come..


Things will be different this time
I know so

Food For Thought

Ripped off from the blog of a friend of mine..
I'm sorry!!! Couldn't help it..
it was too well written.. by whoever you ripped it from..
Hahaha!


Stages of a Relationship


Stage 1 – The Romance Stage

Courtship Phase or the Fantasy Stage, and can last anywhere from 2 months to 2 years. This is when you and your partner have just met, and everything is absolutely amazing. You can’t get enough of each other. Neither of you can do any wrong in the eyes of the other… mainly because you’re both still on your best behavior. The focus in this stage is on commonalities – you have so many common interests, you could practically be the same person! You show your partner your absolute best self, and you try to please each other as much as possible. Conflict is seen as "bad" in this stage, and is avoided at all costs. You can’t imagine living without this person, so you begin spending as much time together as possible. This is the stage when our defenses are down the most, which allows you to be open to and fall in love. You and your partner are building an important foundation in this stage, so your relationship can grow. There are biological effects as well. When you’re in this stage, your body is producing enormous amounts of endorphins, making you feel unusually happy, positive and excited about everything in your life (this is that "head over heels in love" feeling!). This is the stage most often portrayed in movies and romantic novels, for obvious reasons. Bottom line – you are happier than you’ve ever been, and can’t imagine ever feeling any differently.


Stage 2 – The Disillusionment Stage

Familiarization Stage, or the Adjusting to Reality Phase. This is where you begin to realize that your partner is actually a human being (horror of horrors!). You get to know each other more and more, and as a result you start recognizing their various flaws and shortcomings. You see your partner in relaxed situations, and you become more relaxed as well. Since your body cannot possibly continue to produce the same levels of endorphins that it was in the beginning, those feelings of being on top of the world start to decline. Your partner’s little habits aren’t quite as cute as they used to be, but there is still enough goodwill from the Romance Stage that you’re willing to overlook them. This stage can start to trickle into your relationship slowly, as you begin to see your partner for who s/he really is. Or sometimes it happens all of a sudden, when there has been some sort of dishonesty or deceit. This phase can be confusing and discouraging, since you’ve just experienced so much openness and connection in the Romance Stage. However, at this stage, your main job is to learn how to communicate and resolve conflict with this person effectively, which is an important skill if you want your relationship to continue.


Stage 3 – The Power Struggle Stage

This stage is also known as the Disappointment Phase or Distress Stage. As the characteristics from the Disillusionment Phase intensify, they become harder and harder to deal with. You will most likely begin to pull away from each other in this stage. At this point, you both still believe that conflict is a "bad" thing, but you are increasingly aware of your many differences. You fight to draw boundaries in the relationship, and as a result even small annoyances become big issues. This is the stage where you define unacceptable behavior, and most couples have occasional or frequent thoughts of leaving the relationship. More and more often, you start to feel like your partner is self-centered or un-caring, or even worse, that they simply can’t be trusted. Deep resentments begin to build if you’re unable to resolve your issues in a respectful and mutually agreeable way. Many couples get stuck in this stage, because this way of interacting becomes normal in their relationship. This is when it is absolutely necessary to learn to manage your differences effectively – to communicate and work together as a team, even though it’s tempting to believe that your partner’s sole purpose on Earth is to make your life difficult. Not surprisingly, this is the stage most couples are in when they decide to break up or file for divorce. However, if they are able to negotiate all of the landmines during this phase, they’ll move on to….


Stage 4 – The Stability Stage

This is a restful and peaceful time, also known as the Friendship Phase or Reconciliation Stage. Some couples never make it to this stage, but the ones who do find that they have deeper feelings of love, connection and trust with their partner. You now have history together, and most people begin to rely on the predictability of the relationship. As you enter this stage, you begin to realize that your partner isn’t perfect, but your personal differences aren’t quite as threatening as they used to be. You’re able to resolve most of your differences, at least to some extent, and you become more confident in the relationship. Some people feel a sense of loss in this stage as they learn to accept their partner for who they truly are, since this means they have to let go of the fantasy that was established early on in the relationship. But for the most part, the deepening sense of friendship and commitment is a good trade-off for those early feelings of butterflies and excitement. This is also when you begin to re-establish your own outside interests and friendships, which were given up in the Romance Phase. There is some danger that you may begin to drift apart from or become bored with your partner in this phase, so you should try to maintain the connection that was created in the Romance Phase. Overall, this is the stage when you finally begin to feel comfortable and happy with your deepening relationship.


Stage 5 – The Commitment Stage

Acceptance Phase, the Transformation Stage, or the Real Love Phase. It is estimated that fewer than 5% of couples actually make it to this stage, according to The Relationship Institute. This is the stage when both couples have a clear notion of who their partner is, faults, foibles and weaknesses galore… yet they make a conscious choice to be with this person in spite of all of those things (and in some cases, because of those things). You are no longer with your partner because you need them, but because you’ve chosen them, which means the level of resentment you felt in the Power Struggle Phase has decreased, if not disappeared. If you’ve made it to this stage, you and your partner are a team. You genuinely love your partner, and you look out for their best interests just as much as you look out for your own. Your partner is your best friend. There are few surprises about your partner’s habits or character in this phase. You’ve collaborated to overcome many challenges together, and have grown to accept and support each other without restriction. Your vision for your relationship is in congruence with who you are and what you both truly want. You have discussed your future together – you have similar life goals, and you feel encouraged to define your relationship further. Many couples decide to make a formal or public commitment to each other in this stage (such as marriage) to demonstrate their intention to continue their relationship. This is the stage in which your relationship becomes a true partnership.



Something really messed up but really amusing happened today... LOL!

It's like this.. Last week I got a call from a certain insurance company informing me about some new scheme they just started yada yada yada.. and so as they always do, they asked to meet up with me in NTU to talk more about it...

Don't know why I did it then (I usually don't), but i agreed to meet tmr..
But as i was about to sms the agent informing her that i might not be able to make it down tomorrow just a moment ago, i realised with a shock that the number she gave me, the very one i wrote down on a piece of paper, after entering it into my phone, I saw it transform in front of my very eyes to the name of a JC friend of mine!!!!!!!

LIKE WTH!!!!
How messed up is that!?!?!
I've been talking to her on the phone all this time and I didnt even know!!! OMG!!

This just proves how miniscule singapore really is!
Everyone is linked to everyone else somehow or another -.-"
Of all the people to give my telephone number to, her college had to pass her MY number to call, out of all the (I'm assuming) thousands of clients in their database..
Totally stunned!!!
Well, that just made it all the more difficult to reject her now.
Crapz...


Project's nearing the stipulated deadline.
One main feature still not done.
Game level still not constructed.
And lots of bugs still not solved.
Totally hate bugs! Legs or no legs...
Talk about stress! Geez...

One step at a time...


I hope everything will turn out fine...

Confounded . Conflicted & Consigned

Fate determines who enters your life
But it is your heart and action that decides who stays

And then you'll end up with nothing if you leave everything to fate

Really confused..
It shouldn't feel so wrong if it were right..

Tired. Just... whatever

Same Old Brand New Me

Change I can

Gotta start getting used to the new life..
Time for change to take place!
Throw away the comfort and the BORING!
Cast away the familiar..
And embrace the uncertain..

= more fun! Less E~M~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~Ooooooooh Oh Oh Oh!



Blogger

Changed back because I couldn't figure out how to add a music player to wordpress..
And music is my new love now..
As the saying goes, a song speaks a thousand words.. i think?

I kinda miss the way i write in the past too..
Like rh always used to nag (she still does btw), my blog used to be so much more fun to read..
So hopefully this change back to familiar territory can inspire and bring back the old writing habits..
After all, i DID lose my inspiration just recently ^.^



The Familiar

Speaking of familiarity...

?siht rebmemer

railimis os smees htap siht
tnereffid yltcnitsid os tey dna
seirevocsid wen ot dael ti lliw
snoitanitsed emas eht ot ro
ekam ot skcart hserf dnif i lliw
wollof ot stnirptoof dlo ro
egaruoc eht evah neve i od dna
uoy tuohtiw elttab siht thgif ot

------------------------------------

n w i t h y o u b u t i i
i w a n t s o i w i l k w
a y e t h a t i s a l n i
g l r w i t h y o h j o s
a l u e n e e l u e u w h
r a t b o e a s o a s t i
e e u e e t d e r d t h h
v r f r m s n i w b w a a
o u e u o s h t i e o t d
l o h t u f t a h t r t t
l y t r o f d r a h k h h
a t a h w t o n s i t a e
t r a t s o t e c n a h c

If you still remember how to solve them..



Crunch week

Deadline for the project at the end of the week..
get ready for tea bags and eye bags bay-bee!!!



Hai-yahhhhhh~~~!!!!

This has to be the first new chapter in my new life..
And the first time I'm taking up a martial art..
*Haiyahhhh~h~h~h~h!!!*
Time to break some sweat...
Or bones...

Ninja-do (Or Kitagaryu..) lessons start next week!!
Can't wait!!!
Watch out ninja turtles!
I'm gonna kick your hard butts with my reverse sidespinning 360 back-heal kick!!!
Wah Taaaaaaahhhhh~h~h~h~h!!!!!



Meowwwwwwrrffff

I want another cat now that I'm all alone again..
I miss both of them so much!!!
Stupid Matt has like 5 of them and he doesn't want to share!
Stooge!!!



The Goal

65!
If any of you two digit number sensitive fatties out there know what I mean..
These two numbers are OOZING with motivation!

[ ] [ ]
[ ] [ ]
[ ] [ ]

As are these 6 erms... squares?
If you know what i mean =b



Tennis

Anyone?????????????
In order to meet The Goal.



Batam

After our ICTs ZR!!!
We better make sure this happens this time!
And not end up like the k-box plan that never exactly got planned -.-"



Fade

I don't want to forget
But remembering ain't pleasent either
Coz it hurts at this point in time
And I want it to stop
So I'm going to lock up whatever feelings I still have
And protect myself the way I used to
Until the day the love fades
And the pain gets rinsed by the sands of time
Until the day i feel comfortable to take those feelings out again
Will I start reminiscing about he happy times we had

Like a certain Miss "Jessica" said
I should learn to love myself more

All I have to do
Is wait till everything fades...

I'll.... never be the same
If we ever meet again
Won't... Let you get away
Say if we ever meet again

Timbaland's ma new lurve!!!!